Questions & Answers

Communication Problems:
“I'm tired of lying to my parents.”

Dear Annie,

I'm 19 yrs old, and ever since I graduated high school I have not been interested in school. The only reason I'm going to college is just to make my family happy,

For this past year I have not been attending school. All the classes I get I drop right away. My parents think that I'm really going to school. I'm just getting tired of this and I know if I was to tell my parents the truth I would be like the "loser" of the family. I have 2 brothers. Both of them have great jobs.

I've been interested in nursing but I don't like school. I'm interested in those hands-on schools, but I just don't know how to turn the plate upside down and tell my parents. I'm just tired of them thinking that I go to school when I really don't. What do you advise me?

Trudeau

Dear Trudeau,

I admire you for getting to the point where you are no longer willing to pretend to your parents. That's a sign of integrity and maturity. You say that "ever since" you graduated from high school you haven't been interested in school. Does that mean you were interested in school BEFORE you left high school? If the answer is "yes" then I'm wondering what might have happened to turn you off to education. Or maybe it's not education and learning that you're turned off to (since you say you are interested in a "hands-on school" but simply that you haven't been excited about what you've been studying in college.

Before you talk to your parents, I'd strongly suggest that you go to talk with a counselor or academic advisor or career counselor at your college. You're not the first student who has lost his/her motivation. I'm sure that talking with a counselor at your school will help you get a better idea of where your true passions really lie. After that conversation you may have more of a plan for your next best move. Then you can talk to your parents and the conversation will go much more smoothly because you will be talking about a plan ... YOUR PLAN... to help you reach a goal that YOU choose... Not one that "makes your family happy" but one that fits who you are and your talents and interests.

So, first step, talk to a counselor... Make a plan to help you get going in the right direction, and then... Talk with your parents.

It will work out. Trust me.

In friendship,

Annie