?> Annie Fox Parent Forum - Ask Annie - Drugs and Alcohol: Am I stupid to put up with his drinking?

Drugs and Alcohol:
“Am I stupid to put up with his drinking?”

Dear Annie,

They always say its easy to look in on other people's lives and give advice. But what do you do when get different advice from everyone and you still don't know what to do? Anyway...

My situation is that I've been married for a little over two years and my husband just left one day and didn't come home. See, he drinks a lot and when I ask him not to he says I'm treating him like a child. So for the past two weeks he's been partying and drinking w/ his friends and I've only seen him twice. When I ask him if he wants a divorce he says no, but he doesn't want to come back home. He's literally killing me. I can't eat, sleep, or do anything other than think about where he is or what he's doing. He's hot and cold. One day he says he loves me and doesn't want it to be like this and the next he says he can't do this anymore. So, my question is: Am I stupid for waiting or should I give him some time?

Sad and Confused

Dear Sad and Confused,

Your husband has a serious drinking problem and you and your marriage are suffering as a result. (I hope there aren't any children in this picture.) This isn't going to get better by itself no matter how much "time" you give him. You can't force him to deal with his alcoholism, but you can get yourself some much needed support and guidance. My suggestion is that right now you connect with Al-Anon.

1.888.425.2666
In case you've never heard of Al-Anon, it's a highly respected, long established international organization that offers support to people whose lives are being affected by someone else's drinking.

Call them. You need help.

I wish you well.

In friendship,

Annie

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