Drugs and Alcohol:
“Our son just told us he's been smoking pot.”
Dear Annie,Our 15 year old approached us, at the urging of his youth pastor, and told us that about a month ago he had smoked pot on three occasions. We had quite a bit of discussion over it and praised him for being open and honest with us and at the same time told him how sad and disappointed we were in the choices he had made. He said it was curiosity and a bit of peer pressure. "Mom, everyone at school is smoking it, except two kids I know."
Due to comments of a few people today, now we are thinking he still might be smoking but have not caught him and don't actually know for sure. Given that he was honest enough to tell us I feel we need to watch him and monitor where he goes and with whom. My husband on the other hand wants to chain him up at home and get rid of his friends. I have spoken to two of his closest friends' parents, who are also aware of the goings on, and keeping eyes glued. How do we find a workable solution to this without making him feel this is a punishment since he did come forward? Some suggestions, please.
Dear Blindsided Mom,
I'm sorry that your family is going through this right now. It sounds like you're giving your son all this praise for "being honest" about his drug use, but that he's not being held accountable for what he's done. Is that true or am I missing something?
- When your son gave you the excuse that "everyone at school is smoking" what did you say to him?
- When you found out that he'd been using drugs what consequences did you give him?
- Since you got this new information that leads you to believe that he's still using drugs, what's your response? Have you talked with your son yet?
- What's your ultimate goal here?
Write back and we'll talk some more.