?> Annie Fox Parent Forum - Ask Annie - Drugs and Alcohol: Our son just told us he's been smoking pot.

Drugs and Alcohol:
“Our son just told us he's been smoking pot.”

Dear Annie,

Our 15 year old approached us, at the urging of his youth pastor, and told us that about a month ago he had smoked pot on three occasions. We had quite a bit of discussion over it and praised him for being open and honest with us and at the same time told him how sad and disappointed we were in the choices he had made. He said it was curiosity and a bit of peer pressure. "Mom, everyone at school is smoking it, except two kids I know."

Due to comments of a few people today, now we are thinking he still might be smoking but have not caught him and don't actually know for sure. Given that he was honest enough to tell us I feel we need to watch him and monitor where he goes and with whom. My husband on the other hand wants to chain him up at home and get rid of his friends. I have spoken to two of his closest friends' parents, who are also aware of the goings on, and keeping eyes glued. How do we find a workable solution to this without making him feel this is a punishment since he did come forward? Some suggestions, please.

Blindsided Mom

Dear Blindsided Mom,

I'm sorry that your family is going through this right now. It sounds like you're giving your son all this praise for "being honest" about his drug use, but that he's not being held accountable for what he's done. Is that true or am I missing something?

  1. When your son gave you the excuse that "everyone at school is smoking" what did you say to him?
  2. When you found out that he'd been using drugs what consequences did you give him?
  3. Since you got this new information that leads you to believe that he's still using drugs, what's your response? Have you talked with your son yet?
  4. What's your ultimate goal here?

Write back and we'll talk some more.

In friendship,

Annie

Need some parenting advice?
Write to Annie.
She’s got answers.


Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora
What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez ''Teaching Kids to Be Good People'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. “People Are Like Lollipops” by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Brian Narelle
“People Are Like Lollipops” iBook by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Brian Narelle available on the iBookstore
Download ''Are We Lost?'' on Kindle
“People Are Like Lollipops” by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Brian Narelle, Print Edition available on CreateSpace
Books and Apps for Kids
''Are We Lost?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Eli Noyes
Download ''Are We Lost?'' on Kindle
''Are We Lost?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Eli Noyes, Print Edition available on CreateSpace
''Are You My Friend?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Eli Noyes
''Are You My Friend?'' iBook by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Eli Noyes available on the iBookstore
''Are You My Friend?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Eli Noyes, Print Edition available on CreateSpace
Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner