Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Jealousy:
“I like the guy who likes my best friend.”

Hey Terra,

There's this guy that used to like me and now he likes my best friend and I like him! I don't want to act jealous, but I am. I told my friend how I felt and she felt bad. I don't want her to feel bad about it, but then again, I'll feel bad about it and he doesn't really give. What should I do?

Just a point in the triangle

Dear Just a point in the triangle,

It doesn't matter if he used to like you. For whatever reason, his feelings have changed and you need to accept that. If the guy likes your best friend now, then he's not available. You don't have dibs on him. He is an independent person who chooses his own behavior. So are you and so is your friend. But you need to remember that your friendship is the most important part of this triangle. I say that because it's much more likely that you and your best friend will have a relationship long after either of you can remember the guy's name.

If he likes her and she likes him then back off and let it be. You can't control his feelings and it's just not cool for you to make her feel guilty about liking him or being liked by him. It has nothing to do with you, so don't make it about you.

As for what you can do with your feelings? I know it hurts when someone you like doesn't feel the same way about you, but, you can't make him like you. So, I'd suggest you take this opportunity to put your hurt aside (learn whatever you can from what happened) and support your friend. The other thing to think about which might help you cope is this: The right guy for you wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. If this guy doesn't want to be with you that's a sure sign that he isn't the "right" guy for you!

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora
What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner