Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Abusive relationships:
“Sometimes my crush is nice to me and sometimes he ignores me.”

Hey Terra,

I've been talking to a boy from my school for about 9 months now. I really want to be with him, but he says he can't have a relationship "right now." He tells me that he has feelings for me and that he cares about me. Honestly, I think he's scared of falling in love. He's one of the most popular guys in school and everyone loves him and I'm a girl that is not very liked in school. When he sees me outside of school he's really nice to me and very different, but when he is in school he totally ignores me and acts like I don't exist, he doesn't want anyone to know about us. I'm really nice to him, but every time I try to talk to him about what I'm feeling and what he's doing to me and he says I'm too emotional. He transforms from one person to another in a matter of seconds. I always have to watch what I say to him because he always seems to take things the wrong way. When we first started talking he told me that we would be together after he graduates, but he's going to graduate in a couple of weeks and I don't see us being together.

I really want to be with him, but I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts me so much when he acts like this and when I let him know that he is hurting me he says I'm overreacting. He's always flirtatious with other girls but when it comes to me, I'm nothing. He tells me that when we are in school I shouldn't go up to him and talk to him. He tells me to pretend he doesn't exist, but when other girls go up to him he acts normal!!!! I don't know what to do anymore!!! I like him so much, but I don't know what to tell him anymore!

Shadow at School

Dear Shadow at School,

This guy isn't being very nice to you and it hurts. Totally understandable. What I don't understand is why you continue to chase a guy who clearly doesn't want to be with you as much as you want to be with him? He says it in words. He says it in the way he treats you. You can do much better than this!

He's embarrassed for anyone to know about his relationship with you?! If that's not an insult and a clear sign that he has no respect for you and your feelings, what is!?

Look, you sound like a very intelligent girl. Be smart on your own behalf. Let this one go. The sooner you accept reality, the sooner you will open your mid and heart to someone who deserves the love you have to give.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


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