Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

My mom is sooooo over protective of me. I am about to turn 17 and I am an only child which I know may be part of the reason, but it's really getting out of hand! I already have lost a lot of the respect for her. Because I am not a straight A student, in my parents' eyes I am a total screw up. They tell it to me all the time. I got so sick of hearing it that so I wrote them a letter. Talking to them never worked and writing a letter didn't work either.

My dad is really cool, and he understands what it is like for me but always sides with my mom. She is so strict that I can't even go out on the weekends past 11:30, which trust me, is earlier than all my friends. When my mom is not home my dad lets me out and lets me leave during the week. When my mom is home I am grounded during the week. I can't even do homework with my friends. And when I have a date, she always ruins my plan by telling me that I can't or that I have to be home so early it is like there is no point of even going out in the first place.

She really needs to learn how to let go of me. When I try to talk to her she tells me that I should "shut my mouth" and that I am a "bitch" (sorry for the language). And that when I am 18 I can do whatever I want. It is really pissing me off. I feel that if she doesn't learn to lighten up I am never gonna have any respect at all for her left by next year. I am telling you it is really horrible. I don't know what to do to get the point across to her. I really need help.

Please Help!!!

Dear Please Help,

What you described sounds pretty stressful. My guess is that your mom isn't enjoying this any more than you are. You two need a third party to help you break this destructive cycle you've gotten locked into.

It sounds like you've got a much better relationship with your dad. My suggestion is that you have an open hearted talk with him. (Though I can't imagine that he doesn't already know about the tension between you and your mom!) Tell him how it makes you feel when your mom restricts you and calls you names. Tell your dad that you want things to be better between you and her but you need help. This isn't about making your mom wrong or getting your dad to gang up against her. But he can really de-stress this situation and be the peace maker here if he's willing to step up and act as a mediator.

After you talk with your dad, honestly and maturely about your feelings, I suggest you work with him and call a family meeting. Click Here for some guidelines to help you.

I sincerely hope you and both of your parents can work together here to improve things. You are a family and you need each other.

Good luck.

In friendship,

Terra

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