Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Rejection:
“What can you do when people just stop talking to you?”

Hey Terra,

You just recently visited my school. I enjoyed your talk, but it also made my friend and I a little uneasy. You talked about how sometimes friends grow apart, and sometimes people just don't like each other anymore. Well that has happened to my friend and I. Last year everyone was getting in fights and there seemed to be different groups that all hated each other. This year I thought things would be different and everyone could just get along... and they did, at first.

Everything was going fine until one day our whole class just stopped talking to me and my friend. Our other friends would just walk by us and glare at us like we had done something wrong. People would talk about us behind out backs and laugh as we walked by. We had no idea what was going on. I chose to talk to one of my friends about it and she said that she wasn't mad at me, but that it just seemed like I was too depressed to have friends. This I did not understand. I was never depressed and I always thought that I was actually a happy person. The only time when I was quiet or sad was when no one would talk to me besides my friend (the one that people were also mad at). I don't know what to do, and my friend and I are very confused. Please help.

Very Confused and Lonely

Dear Very Confused and Lonely,

People can be very insensitive, can't they? I have no idea why some of you "friends" would choose to "just walk by" and "glare" at you. I'm very glad you and your friend have each other, but I'm sure you'd like this negative behavior toward you to stop.

Like I said when I came to your school: you don't get to control the way other people act (or how they feel or what they think). But you can control your choices. One of the choices within your control at this time is to talk to the people involved. You say you did talk to one friend who said she "wasn't mad" at you. This explanation she offered about your being "too depressed to have friends" is not helpful, even though she probably thought it would be. I mean, what are you supposed to do with that information!?

My suggestion is that you talk to one of the school counselors. I guarantee that you will be listened to with respect and receive some good advice. Talking to them about what's going on would be an excellent choice on your part.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


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