Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Getting over a broken heart:
“There's never going to be anyone else like her.”

Hey Terra,

I've been having trouble getting over my gf. At first, my friends were telling me that she was flirting with other guys. I obviously didn't believe them, and had a talk with her just to make sure she wasn't. We talked, and she denied that she was flirting with other guys, exactly what I wanted to hear. But, it wasn't till I saw it myself was I shattered. I was at a football game and I caught her cuddling with another guy, and they kissed before he left. I instantly approached her, heartbroken, and told her it was over...

Now, its 3 months after... and I've been missing her soo much. She meant the world to me, and I didn't ever want to end what we had. I want to move on, but I know there is going to be no one else like her...

Lost without Her

Dear Lost without Her,

I'm sorry that you're hurting right now (and have been for a while)... But the best advice I can offer you is to stop holding on to the pain of the past. By recreating it in your mind day after day (like a re-run of an old TV show) you are creating more pain and suffering for yourself.

You sound like an intelligent young man, yet you seem to be missing something important. You say that your gf cheated on you and yet you are so obviously upset at the belief that "there is going to be no one else like her." Surely you aren't looking for another girlfriend who IS like your ex, are you? You don't really want to fall in love with someone who isn't honest with you and who, in fact, doesn't treat you with the respect you deserve?! (That's what cheating is, a show of disrespect and betrayal.)

C'mon... Let it go. Realize that the love of your life is not the girl who cheated on you. The love of your life is the girl who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her. She'll treat you with respect because she has respect for herself and the choices she makes reflects that.

She's out there and she's looking for you.

The sooner you accept the fact that your ex was NOT the right girl for you, the sooner you will open your heart and mind to meeting the girl who is.

Make sense?

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner