Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Jealousy:
“I'm not jealous of my best friend.”

Hey Terra,

My best friend is kind of a show off. She always is fun to be around but she is always trying to impress boys and then everybody always talks about how cool and funny she is and it gets kind of annoying. I am not jealous, I'm just annoyed.

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

If the definition of jealousy is: feeling envious and unhappy of someone else's luck or popularity or possessions, etc., then it sounds like you are jealous of your best friend. It might help you deal with the feelings if you first admit the truth to yourself.

Here's a few of things to think about:

1) if you say that she is "always fun to be around", then why wouldn't other people "talk about how cool and funny she is"? Sounds like these positive qualities you mention are exactly what makes her popular... They're probably part of the reason you like her too!

2) If she really is "always trying to impress boys" then as her best friend, you should tell her how it makes you feel when she does that.

3) Sometimes, when other people "annoy" us, it's because there's something they're doing that's similar to what we do... something that we don't especially like in ourselves. When we see that behavior it's easier to recognize it in them (and get angry) than to recognize it in us and start making changes.

In the meantime, I suggest you talk to your friend about how you're feeling. If you stay silent, you're likely to build up a wall of resentment and end up creating distance in the friendship.

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


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