Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

“My friend acted like a jerk and he refuses to apologize.”

Hey Terra,

A couple of months ago. I had gone to my room to change, and had forgot to lock the door. One of my guy friends walked in on me luckily I was holding a pair of pants in front of me and was covered up. I had no pants on at the time. He closed the door and walked away. That sounds decent enough but then he reopened the door and even though I repeatedly told him not to he pulled the pants away. and saw me in my underwear. I was outraged and told him how I felt. He refused to apologize for "that" and I haven't been speaking to him for four months. But he still tries sometimes to get my attention, for example he IM's me or says stuff in the hallways to annoy me. and it still bothers me that he could be such a jerk. Why, does it still bother me, and I don't know why I still care about him at all. We use to be really close but we haven't been since the incident and I don't know why I still care. Please Help!

What's Going On?

Dear What's Going On,

When someone violates your privacy, in the way this guy did, and then refuses to acknowledge (with an apology) that he was rude and insensitive, then it is a natural reaction to be "outraged". What he did was wrong, plain and simple. And his refusing to apologize just adds to the insult.

Since you've told him how you feel and he isn't willing to admit that he made a mistake then I'm not sure what more you can do about that part.

There is something you can do about his continuing to annoy you.

It sounds like you have lost respect for him and that you are still angry about what happened. If there is more that you need to communicate to him (to get it off your chest) then send him an email and tell him what you need to say. If you don't want him to "bother" you any more, put that in the email. Do not respond to his IMs. As for saying annoying stuff to you in the hallways, that is something you could talk to a teacher or the school counselor about. When people continue to do annoying things after you've let them know you are not interested in having contact with them, then that is harassment. The school has a responsibility to protect its students from that kind of unwanted behavior.

You want something done about it... communicate with him first and tell him, if this behavior doesn't stop, you're going to talk to the school administration about it. That will stop it.

I hope this helps.

In friendship,


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