Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Friends and Enemies:
“I'm losing my best friend!”

Hey Terra,

Me and my best friend have been best friends since kindergarten. But this weekend she took our other friend with her on vacation!!! I know people are suppose to have other friends and everything but there's more to the WHOLE story than that. You see about two months ago my best friend asked me to go with her on vacation but at the time I had a sprained ankle! I told her that was the reason I couldn't go with her. The real reason however was that I didn't want to go b/c it wasn't fair to our other friend! Now I don't know what to do! I'm losing my best friend!! 9 years Terra! How big of a waste is that? I couldn't bear to go through high school without my shibby girl! What should I do!!!???? I was upset the whole weekend. Then those two called me like there was nothing wrong. My best friend told me I sound "Pissed off" and I said "Ooh so you care now?" Then I talked to our other friend and I was just as mean b/c I was hurt and mad and I meant it! I still do!!

Three really is a crowd!!!!

Dear Three really is a crowd,

I understand why you are feeling hurt, but being sarcastic isn't really letting your friends know what's going on with you. They called you because they were thinking about you. They acted like "nothing was wrong" because they didn't know anything was wrong! This situation calls for some honesty. When you're feeling hurt, betrayed, left out, sad, worried, etc. it's a good thing to express those feelings to the people who need to hear what you have to say.

If she is truly your best friend then she deserves the truth. Let her know how her choice of not taking you on vacation makes you feel. Tell her how much the friendship means to you and how it scares you to think about losing her as a friend. See if you can tell her how you feel without attacking her with accusations and sarcasm. Simple is best: "I felt really hurt when you took our other friend with you on vacation. I feel worried that I'm losing your friendship and I need to hear how you feel."

Then be quiet for a while and LISTEN to what she has to say. The truth, from her perspective, may be very different than what you think it is. It may be scary for you to imagine talking honestly to her about your feelings, but a 9 year friendship deserves taking the risk.

I hope this helps. Please let me know how things work out.

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


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