Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

My boyfriend and I are talking about making love! (I like to say it that way instead of saying sex.) Anyway, we talked about it and we were very open on the subject. We know what could happen and we know the things that comes with it. We talked about me getting pregnant and what would happen if that did happened. I think we both are mature enough to know right from wrong.

By the way, we both are virgins and I know more about sex then he does and about birth control and condoms. I told him the different birth control methods and about putting on a condom. He said he will practice putting on a condom and I told him Saturday coming I will see if he knows how when I come over to his house but we are not going to do it at his house because his mom will be there.

I feel like I'm really ready and I went over the reasons we both want to do it and we ARE curious but that's not a reason we want to do it. I love him and he's not making me do it. It's my choice and I feel 100% sure I'm ready. I want to know more on sex and different kinds of lovemaking techniques.

Please Help! Write Back ASAP!

Ready

Dear Ready,

I'm glad you are talking openly with your boyfriend. It's very important, of course, that you know how to use protection properly. It's also important for the two of you to talk about what you think will change in your relationship if you decide to become sexually active. There are lots of young couples that make love without really talking about what it means to each of them. Be certain that things will change if you decide to do this. That's why an honest conversation about what you expect will change and what he expects will change can help you figure out if the two of you are really on the same page. If, for example, you want to make love with your boyfriend but you also want to continue flirting with other guys and not getting too emotionally attached (I'm not saying this is you, I'm just using this as an example of two people having different expectations) and if, for example, your boyfriend expects that once you two make love that you will be together FOREVER, well, you can see that different expectations like that could cause a problem.

You might also want to think about how you will feel if you make love and then the relationship ends. And think also about how you will feel if your parents find out (because they probably will).

Ok, enough stuff to think about.

I hope this helps.

I trust that you will do what's right for you.

As for offering you "different kinds of lovemaking techniques" that's not the kind of advice I give. Good communication, though, is the best thing a couple can do for each other.

In friendship,

Terra

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