Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

“I want to leave her a trail of love letters.”

Hey Terra,

No, with the guys I am just that. One of the guys. The only women I have been able to hold an actual conversation with are adults. Also the only time this girl says something directed to me is after I make a comment in church class. I doubt that she has the same feelings towards me but I can't help wanting to express my feelings to her. I know that I must sound stupid now but I feel like I will lose her before even getting her.

Big Crush

Dear Big Crush,

Okay, glad to hear that your shyness doesn't interfere with your same sex friendships.

The best advice I can give is to do your best to let go of the romantic fantasy for now. It seems like it is causing you to build up all of this stress and tension around being yourself with this girl. You are trying so hard to "get her" to feel the way you do about her that there isn't a whole lot of room here to just relax and start a friendship.

Maybe it would be a confidence builder for you to practice some friendly conversation with a girl you are not crushing on. Someone who is in church class or school or an after school activity with you. This may not have occurred to you, but girls are really not a different species. And they appreciate being approached by guys who truly want to explore a friendship (not just a romantic relationship).

So, maybe it would be helpful to you to back off from trying so hard with your crush and getting some comfortable, easy conversational experience with a girl who could in fact, become a friend. I'd suggest you choose a girl who has a kind and sympathetic nature. Someone who is friendly to lots of people without being "Miss Popular." (Know what I mean?)

I hope this helps.

In friendship,


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.

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