Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. Well, you’ve come to the right place. Teens have been writing to me since 1997 because they know I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else that’s confusing… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. Some choices make things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move.
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
December 4, 2013Lots going on this time of year. (Props for taking time to read a blog.) We feel pressure to make the holidays "perfect." Pressure to spend. Pressure to save. Pressure to get the kids to behave. We all have moments when we trade "nice" for B#$@%. We're human and we get stressed. But when we show more Beast than Loving Parent, we are damaging our children. That's a problem that keeps making problems. The good news? We are key to the solution.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachel Simmons the Wise for my podcast series. We talked about her book The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. We also discussed how often parents engage in meta-conversations with their children (i.e., parent says one thing and an unspoken message churns just below the surface).
With all that doublespeak how can a t(w)een learn to be authentic and express the truth of her heart? Not very easily. And it isn’t just parents and daughters. As Rachel put it, no matter who you’re talking to or what relationship you’ve got, “there’s always a meta-conversation going on.”
Parent: Oh, you’re still playing that game.
Meta-message: I just know you won’t get your homework
done tonight and then what? You think I like being on your case? Well, I don’t! But if I don’t keep after you how are you ever going to get into a decent college?
From Terra’s Inbox
“'I'm freaking out that I might be gay!”
This morning something weird happened. I was kinda still sleeping when my mom came to wake me up and I said "I'm not allowed in the House of Congress until 1883 because they banned homosexuals."
Now I don't think I'm gay, I like girls. I've never had sex but I've had crushes and a desire to do stuff. When I masturbate I think about girls. But what I said when I was waking up is freaking me out. What does this mean?
“Can a girl go swimming when she has her period?”
My friend has her period. Her boyfriend invited her to a pool party and she doesn't know what she should do. Should she get into the pool? She and I don't know much about periods except that they come once a month.
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