Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“Does he still think of me a friend material?”
“I'm in love with my engaged best friend.”
I'm totally in love with this new guy I'm dating, and I don't know, but I just want to be with him all the time! He brings out a side of me that I love, and, since we were friends before we started dating, I can really be myself with him. The thing is, I'm worried that he thinks of me still as friend material even though he asked me out. I don't know if I'm just paranoid or what, but I guess I feel a little insecure about myself, which makes me question his feelings. What do you think? Am I overreacting?
Worried and In Love
I am in love with my best friend. She has a fiancé, but things are rocky. We have been friends for over a year, and she knows how I feel. What should I do? I think about her constantly, I try to be there for her when things are bad and all but, constantly I am wishing that we could be together.
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July 10, 2016
If you really want a bf/gf, but don't have one, and everyone else does, it can bring you down. You may wonder, "What's wrong with me?" I totally remember feeling this way in high school. It sucked. Once you buy a ticket to ride that depressing train of thought, you'll assume you don't have enough of whatever you think you need to be loved. ("I'm not hot enough, not cool enough, not thin enough, not buff enough, not outgoing enough, etc. etc. etc.")
So I understand what's going on when I get an email like this one:
Hey Terra -
I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I'm going to be 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out. I'm worried I'll be unprepared for a real committed relationship and be forever alone. I really want to know what that teenager rush of young love feels like that so many of my friends have experienced. What do I do? - Ms. Loveless
Dear Ms. Loveless,
I understand where you’re coming from. But please don’t assume that teen relationships prepare you for “real” committed adult relationships based on mutual trust, respect, honesty, shared values, open communication. They rarely do. You need to be an adult to have an adult relationship. As intelligent and mature as you seem to be, you are still becoming an adult, not there yet. You are still a full-time student, still living in your parents' home, being supported and supervised by them. More »