Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“Am I ready?”
“I have a hard time communicating with my dad and my step mom.”
I'm a 19 year old and have been going out with my bf for the past 5 months. We frequently talk about our relationship, where it's going, etc. We also talk about sex. I told him that I'm not ready yet, and he said he will wait until I'm ready. The thing is I don't know if I'm ready. I mean I want to but I'm scared. Once when I stayed over his house we almost had sex, but he stopped and told me he doesn't want to force me into anything.
We sleep together a lot, when he holds me I can feel him getting aroused. He never does anything though. That makes me feel guilty because I don't want to...
My step mom gets in one of her "I am here to help" moods and the next minute she's correcting me because I am so not well mannered. I tried telling my dad before but I only got mad and exploded. Is there any way that I can approach my dad about it without getting so explosive and angry?
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July 10, 2016
If you really want a bf/gf, but don't have one, and everyone else does, it can bring you down. You may wonder, "What's wrong with me?" I totally remember feeling this way in high school. It sucked. Once you buy a ticket to ride that depressing train of thought, you'll assume you don't have enough of whatever you think you need to be loved. ("I'm not hot enough, not cool enough, not thin enough, not buff enough, not outgoing enough, etc. etc. etc.")
So I understand what's going on when I get an email like this one:
Hey Terra -
I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I'm going to be 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out. I'm worried I'll be unprepared for a real committed relationship and be forever alone. I really want to know what that teenager rush of young love feels like that so many of my friends have experienced. What do I do? - Ms. Loveless
Dear Ms. Loveless,
I understand where you’re coming from. But please don’t assume that teen relationships prepare you for “real” committed adult relationships based on mutual trust, respect, honesty, shared values, open communication. They rarely do. You need to be an adult to have an adult relationship. As intelligent and mature as you seem to be, you are still becoming an adult, not there yet. You are still a full-time student, still living in your parents' home, being supported and supervised by them. More »