Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move

In friendship,
Terra (aka Annie Fox)

From Terra’s Inbox

“I don't have too many friends.”

 

“My friends don't like my other friend.”

Hey Terra,

I'm kinda a nobody. I'm very shy and quiet to everyone and I don't hold too much of a conversation. So, I don't have too many friends. I just sit there and listen.

Well, I have learned to be a little more social. But not a lot. I was really mad at my friend, because she was starting to ignore me and she always wanted to sit next to my other friend instead of me. At first I though, "well, ok." But then she started to ignore me a lot and she never sat next to me. She was always whispering and gossiping with my other friend, but she never did that with me anymore. So then I decided to pluck up...

 

Hey Terra,

I have this one friend who doesn't like any of my other friends. When I'm with some of my other friends, they are talking about her. I say, "You guys, she's my friend, and you shouldn't be talking about her." So they stop.. For the moment. But, they do it again other times. It still bugs me that I can't make them stop.

Girl in the Middle

Read Terra’s Answer » Read Terra’s Answer »

Read more teen letters from Terra’s Inbox »

Annie’s Blog:
"My parents are racist!"

February 7, 2016

Hey Terra!

I've been experiencing some moral differences with my parents. I've always idolized my them, but recently, I've realized I simply can't agree with some of their ideas.

On a recent trip we took public transportation and most of the people riding with us were African Americans. My mom kept whispering derogatory racist remarks to me and my sister. And just a few days ago, my mom argued that a person's skin color and other aspects of appearance are a direct link to the quality of the person.

I love my parents, but it makes me confused when I disagree so vehemently with people I care about. Racism is a big issue and I hate to see my parents contribute to it.

How should I respond when they bring up or argue this topic again? Is debating with them a viable solution? – Confused

Talk to the hand. Talk to the hand.

I am very proud of you for recognizing racist remarks when you hear them and knowing it's not ok to talk like that. Even if these remarks come from someone you love and idolize (like your parents) a racist comment is still a racist comment! You're right. Racism is a big issue and you have chosen to be part of the solution, not the problem. I admire you for taking that role.

So how should you respond when parents try to argue their ignorant perspective? Great question! To discover the answer you first need to examine the answer to this question: “When it comes to other people’s attitudes, opinions, feelings, thoughts and behavior what power do I have?” You sound like an extremely intelligent individual so you probably don’t need me to tell you that you have no power over what others think or feel or do. More »


Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora
What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner