Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move

In friendship,
Terra (aka Annie Fox)

From Terra’s Inbox

“Should I make the next move?”

 

“My brother and stepbrother aren't nice to me.”

Hey Terra,

I'm a "freshwoman" in high school. I asked a boy (a really good friend of mine) to Homecoming this year, about 4 weeks ago. We had a great time--we didn't dance or anything, but we talked outside for about an hour and a half--we really kept the conversation going. I have strong feelings for him; I'd really like to go out with him. He's the funniest, nicest guy, and when I talk to him, I get that warm, tingly feeling inside. Unfortunately, I have no classes with him this year, but I see him at lunch and between classes occasionally. I'm not sure whether or not to make the next move. I know...

 

Hey Terra,

I am in a blended family with 7 kids. The two oldest ones are very good friends. The next two oldest are very good friends. The last two are my brother and step brother, both are 13, and they are extremely best friends. That leaves me no one. All of the older ones live by themselves or with roommates. So I live with the two 13-year-olds. My stepbrother is the leader and my brother is the follower. If my stepbrother is mad at me, then my brother will be mad at me too. Also, if my brother isn't home and it's just me and my stepbrother that will be practically the only time he will have a...

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Annie’s Blog:
"I'm never going to win!"

August 3, 2017

What's the use? What's the use?

We all want our opinions and feelings respected, especially by the people we care about most. A guiding rule for a healthy relationship (the only kind worth having) is: "I will respectfully try to understand where you're coming from and you will do the same for me."

Doesn't always work that way. Sometimes we're too upset to be respectful so we do things we later regret. Sometimes others disrespect us and we're too embarrassed or discouraged to speak up.

When it feels like nobody treats you with respect, what then? Do you have fight with everyone? Or is it better to just accept it? That's what this teen wants to know.

Teen: When I hang out with my friends they do PE-related things. I act like everything is okay, but they know I suck at that kind of stuff. Still they always hold obstacle courses, running races and monkey bar challenges. It's as if they do it to mock me.

Next, my parents. If I get anything below B+ on a quiz or test, they don't bother noticing me. What's worse is that when my twin sister gets something below a B+, they offer to help her.

Lastly, my twin sister. She is intolerable. She has successfully managed to steal my friends by lying. Every time I tell her to stop, she acts like I am bullying her. To others, she seems sweet, but she is sociopathic towards me. Except when she has no one else to hang out with. Then I'm her fallback. I try and stand up to it, but my parents have her back. It's as if they have taught me a silent rule: "Don't try to stand up for yourself because you are never going to win these battles." So I have to put up with it. More »


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What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner