Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“I saw his photo and I don't want to email him any more!”
“I'm 14 and the guy I like is 19.”
A lady at work asked was I seeing anyone, I replied NO, so she gave me her nephew's e-mail and we began mailing each other. He's bout 300 miles away, in a different state. We exchanged photos, and I know this is wrong of me but he is NOT a good looking man at all. I want to stop writing him, but I don't know how to do it without being rude. This will never work, because YES looks do mean something to me as well as personality. He does seem to be a nice guy, but not nice looking at all. It's not like I'm a beauty queen but I can't handle that.
Sorry for being selfish. Can you help me?
I know this guy at my church. First, I should tell you that I'm 14. We started going to this church about a year and a half ago. When I began to get to know everyone, "K" attracted my attention more than anyone else. I began to talk to him more and more, and we began to have very good conversations. We still often talk about horses (we BOTH love them so much!!!) Well, I think I should tell you that he is 19, and that is quite an age difference. I have really begun to fall for him, and he is the sweetest person I know. I think we could have a relationship, but I don't know what to do to...
|Read Terra’s Answer »||Read Terra’s Answer »|
July 10, 2016
If you really want a bf/gf, but don't have one, and everyone else does, it can bring you down. You may wonder, "What's wrong with me?" I totally remember feeling this way in high school. It sucked. Once you buy a ticket to ride that depressing train of thought, you'll assume you don't have enough of whatever you think you need to be loved. ("I'm not hot enough, not cool enough, not thin enough, not buff enough, not outgoing enough, etc. etc. etc.")
So I understand what's going on when I get an email like this one:
Hey Terra -
I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I'm going to be 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out. I'm worried I'll be unprepared for a real committed relationship and be forever alone. I really want to know what that teenager rush of young love feels like that so many of my friends have experienced. What do I do? - Ms. Loveless
Dear Ms. Loveless,
I understand where you’re coming from. But please don’t assume that teen relationships prepare you for “real” committed adult relationships based on mutual trust, respect, honesty, shared values, open communication. They rarely do. You need to be an adult to have an adult relationship. As intelligent and mature as you seem to be, you are still becoming an adult, not there yet. You are still a full-time student, still living in your parents' home, being supported and supervised by them. More »