Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:

Getting over a broken heart:
“What if he's my true love?”

Hey Terra,

I've known this lad for 2.5 years. We used to get on really well for about 1 year and now things have really changed because he doesn't attend phone calls, when I text him no reply. My friends try calling him, and he cuts them off as well. I don't know what's wrong with him. I feel he doesn't like me anymore.

My friends say "No offense but he doesn't like you. Just forget him." But how can I because there is no guarantee he doesn't like me. Whereas there is another lad who really likes me. He's told me a couple of times by hinting it but I really don't give any notice. I just keep thinking, "What if that other lad still likes me, and if he's not answering my calls and cutting me Off, there is no guarantee if I get with someone else, what if he feels I deceived him for someone else??

I'm really really confused because on one hand I love someone that doesn't text me, and answer my calls and there is another lad who likes me, will do anything for me. I don't know who to choose or what to do?

Unloved True Love

Dear Unloved True Love,

I have to say that the signals this guy is sending you are absolutely clear. Even though you may have "gotten on really well for about 1 year" things have changed for him. He:

  1. doesn't attend phone calls
  2. doesn't reply when you text him
  3. cuts off your friends when they call him

What does that behavior mean to you? It means just what you're friends are telling you: "Sorry, no offense but he doesn't like you in the same way that you like him."

Do you really need more of a "guarantee" than his behavior towards you? Do you really need the guy to say the words right to your face?

Why are you unwilling to see the truth of this situation? Yes, I know you say that you "love" him... But how can you love someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you?

As for the other guy who cares for you... Well, if you don't have the same feelings for him that he has for you, what's the point of "choosing" him. A healthy relationship is between two people who want to be together.

Neither of these relationships sounds healthy.

Why do you have to choose either of them? How about not choosing to be with anyone until you find the person who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him?

In friendship,

Terra


Need some advice? Write to Terra. She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.


Find Annie Fox: Find Annie on Facebook Find Annie on Twitter Find Annie on Pinterest Find Annie on YouTube Find Annie on Google+ Find Annie on LinkedIn Find Annie on Goodreads Find Annie on Quora
What's New?
''The Girls Q&A Book on Friendship: 50 Ways to Fix a Friendship Without the DRAMA'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed., illustrated by Erica De Chavez Books & Apps for Teens
''Middle School Confidential 3: What's Up With My Family?'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 2: Real Friends vs. the Other Kind'' iOS app ''Middle School Confidential 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' iOS app ''The Teen Survival Guide to Dating & Relating: Real-World Advice on Guys, Girls, Growing Up, and Getting Along'' by Annie Fox M.Ed.
''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 2: Real Friends vs. The Other Kind'' by Annie Fox M.Ed., Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
''Too Stressed to Think? A Teen Guide to Staying Sane When Life Makes You CRAZY'' by Annie Fox, M.Ed. and Ruth Kirschner